Our lives begin with the first awareness of ourselves. The first time we saw our reflection in a mirror. The first time we rode a bicycle. The first time we felt love. The first time we found a purpose and contributed to the world—filled us with the awareness of our independence and freedom of spirit. We are at the frontier of awakening our awareness of everything and everyone, including what is yet to be discovered. With every feeling and every thought, we look beyond ourselves, furthering our awareness of who, what, and why we are. We awaken our potential to experience greater fulfillment, happiness, and peace. The adventure is limited by the boundaries we create and the lens we focus. 

        Along my path, I began investigating what makes existence possible. Like many people, I felt I was a part of something much bigger than myself, that reality was far more than could be seen or touched. I started taking stock of out-of-body experiences, dreams, and visions I had been aware of since childhood. To help me understand these experiences, I opened a dialogue with a voice that had been present in the back of my mind—what I call my higher self. This relationship offered me insights into wholeness. Wholeness means connection with ourselves, where insight, intuition, and creativity flow, along with empathy, compassion, and love.  

          A deeper part of us knows who we are, holding the memories and knowledge of where we come from. We are energy. An essence. Our timeless, intelligent self, the isness of us that makes connection possible. Everything else—intellect, ego, emotions, and physical body—are parts of the suit we wear.

         Insight, intuition, and creativity is seeing with our essence. Empathy, compassion, and love is feeling with our essence. Our experiences are only moments in time. Our essence is with us throughout all time, immersing us in the life experience, and helping us to heal old wounds and live with purpose.

         The life journey can be fraught with obstacles. We can struggle to feel safe in a world of uncertainty. We can feel disconnected from life and unmoored from ourselves. Fear and anger can play a role in our experience, interfering with insight, intuition, and creativity and diminishing our capacity for empathy, compassion, and love. Our essence is what we intuitively seek for courage and strength.

         Children naturally tune into their essence. Their vibrant inner lives reflect the worlds from which they come. The instinct to sustain these links supports mental and psychological well-being. Their closeness to spiritual worlds imbues them with instinctive awareness unhindered by the conformity of society.

         As an essence, we are born with an instinctive awareness of the larger reality at play. You are the connective tissue that knows no boundaries. Tuning in can reframe the vision of yourself, enabling the wonders and magic of life to happen.

Exercise for tuning into your essence

The exercises throughout this book will teach you to access a deeper part of yourself that knows who you are, and can help you understand the function your emotions serve.

       I was 13 years old when my younger sister was upset about a boy who teased her on the bus home from school one day. Hugh and I were in the same class, but I didn’t know him very well. I went to where he sat in the back seat of the bus, and said I would hit him if he continued to tease my sister. He smiled and said, “Ok, so what? That wasn’t the response I was expecting.” So I punched him. He sat there grinning as if nothing had happened. I was surprised he didn’t try to protect himself or hit back. I was used to these types of boyhood scuffles, and expected Hugh to react with something—anything—like calling me a name. But there was no reaction. Nothing. He just sat there with a grin on his face. I turned around and looked toward the bus driver as she stared in her rear-view mirror, watching our exchange. The bus was stopped, and the door was open. This was my stop.

       As I exited the bus with my sister, something didn’t feel right. Hugh showed no emotion, but I was feeling regret. Unconsciously, my feelings were asking for my attention. I walked half a mile to his house and knocked on the door. He appeared, and I said, “I shouldn’t have hit you.” His reply was, “That’s okay.” I apologized and went home.      

       Emotions signal to us that something needs our attention. When we push them away, we continue to struggle with them. I could have coped with my feelings by suppressing them or telling myself Hugh deserved to be punched. However, I was feeling guilty, and other emotions made me feel angry and disappointed with myself. If I had ignored my feelings, they would have remained unanswered. When we pay attention to our emotions, they can serve as a catalyst for change, guiding us toward integrity and helping us make meaningful connections.

       Our willingness to explore emotions allows us to identify feelings that no longer serve us. By pausing to consider our emotions, we can be informed by them, thereby gaining a deeper understanding of ourselves and living in accordance with our values. The acceptance of our feelings tunes us into the present-moment awareness of our timeless, intelligent self, our essence. Tuning in makes space for emotional flexibility.   

Our essence operates with the expanded awareness of our higher self, the origin of our insight, intuition, and creativity, as well as our empathy, compassion, and love. Our essence benefits us with feelings of self-worth and confidence, supporting us with clarity and adaptability for our changing world. As we learn to see and feel with our essence as the lens, we discover ourselves to be highly resourceful beings, able to align with qualities of our humanity and expand our capacity for peace and gratitude in our lives.  

Tuning in is as natural as taking a breath. When we breathe deeply, we saturate our body with oxygen. This activates our parasympathetic nervous system, to calm tensions and build a connection with our essence.

The Exercise:

Take slow, deep breaths until you feel relaxed. Inhale through your nose and exhale comfortably. Visualize oxygen filling your chest and stomach, and ask the cells in your body to relax. Take a moment to be present in the stillness within you.

       Identify and name your present feelings. Happy, sad, uncertain, fearful, angry, etc. Allow yourself to open your heart, lean in, and listen to your feelings. Be aware of any sensations in your body that come with them. Be gentle as you let your feelings speak to you without judgment. By listening you pull back the hidden layers of your inner world to see things as they are. Self-understanding offers you acceptance, which tunes you into your deeper self, your timeless, intelligent essence.  Allow warmth and kindness to envelope you. Say to yourself.      

       “May I feel empathy”

       “May I feel compassion”

       “May I feel love”

       “The feelings that come from me are for me and others.”

These positive affirmations also help tune you into your essence. The energy of empathy, compassion, and love serves as a primary force in our world, fostering a powerful belief in ourselves.  

Willingness and acceptance help us to unify our wholeness. Seeing and feeling with our essence as the lens shows us the temporary nature of our emotions. They are moments in time that can change, yet our essence remains unchanged.  

        Learning to know ourselves provides us with resilience, making us more forgiving and less critical of ourselves. By tuning in, we expand our self-awareness and grow rich with independence and freedom of spirit, the only real wealth in the universe.